All parents know that childhood is not only about first steps, first words and smiles. It’s also about challenging periods when your child seems to “change overnight”: becomes stubborn, tearful, refuses usual things and protests against everything. These moments are known as age crises. Let’s explore what they are, when they happen and, most importantly, how parents can keep calm and protect the love in their relationship with their little one.

An age crisis is a stage in psychological development when a child suddenly shifts to a new level of self-awareness and skills. At this moment, the world feels different to them, and they don’t yet know how to handle it except through tears, stubbornness or aggression. For parents, it’s a test of patience; for the child, it’s an important step towards forming their personality.

Around 10–14 months, the baby may suddenly become more demanding and restless. This is because the child starts walking, actively exploring the world and realises they can influence it.

Typical signs:

• Crying and moodiness for no obvious reason.

• Negative reaction to prohibitions.

• Fear of separation from mom.

• Desire to do things “by myself!” – eating, taking off a hat, opening doors.

What can parents do?

• Let your child try more things on their own.

• Explain in simple words why something is not allowed.

• Offer choices: “Do you want this spoon or that one?”

• Hug them often and show you’re near, even when they’re upset.

This is one of the most noticeable crises, often called the “no” phase. The child realises their “I”, tests boundaries and actively protests against rules.

Typical signs:

• Frequent use of the word “no!”.

• Tantrums, screaming, throwing themselves on the floor.

• Emotional outbursts if something doesn’t work.

• Feeling that everything must go “my way”.

What can parents do?

• Stay calm, even when it’s hard.

• Don’t take your child’s protest personally.

• Set clear but flexible boundaries.

• Offer choices and involve them in simple decisions: “Do you want to go for a walk now or in five minutes?”

• Praise even small achievements.

Remember: this is not “spoiling”, it’s a normal stage of personality development.

Around three, the child starts realising they are a separate person. There’s a strong desire to do everything on their own, and first attempts to influence adults appear.

Typical signs:

• A strong sense of “I do it myself!”.

• Contradictory behaviour: asking for help and then rejecting it.

• Tantrums if something fails.

• Desire to control others.

What can parents do?

• Let your child be independent where it’s safe.

• Respond calmly to tantrums: hug them, give time to calm down.

• Set clear rules: “On the road we hold hands, because it’s dangerous.”

• Show your own calmness and confidence.

• Accept your child’s emotions: say “I see you’re angry, that’s okay.”

✔ Don’t expect “perfect” behaviour.
✔ Talk about your own feelings: “It’s hard for me right now, I’m angry, but I still love you.”
✔ Remember: the crisis will pass, but your love and trust will remain.
✔ Don’t hesitate to ask your partner, family or friends for help.
✔ Read about child development, visit a child psychologist if needed.

Each crisis isn’t the end of the world but an important step in your child’s growth. Calmness, patience, hugs and faith in your little one can do real wonders. Together, you can get through any difficulties and keep the tenderness and trust in your relationship.